Raging, bigoted anti-circumcision extremist Alan Cumming has spent years of his life degrading and belittling circumcised men. In fact, he has funded some of the leading anti-circumcision organizations which were designed to do so. It is no surprise that anti-circumcision organizations are as corrupt as they are when you consider their origin. This is an essay he wrote on the subject. Our responses will be in bold. No man will deny that it feels pretty great to have someone gasp at your penis. On the contrary, Cumming, you were enraged that Americans had standards and preferred cleaner, healthier circumcised men. You were so enraged that circumcised men have penises to feel greet about that you decided to protest them. Well, that’s what happened to me when I first moved to America You shouldn't have. and started to show people the contents of my underpants. Once again, you shouldn't have. But their gasping was not due to my gargantuan girth (though no complaints so far, thank you very much!) It becomes immediately evident that this essay was written for the purpose of perverted self-gratification rather than for a productive cause, just like in the case of a cousin foreskin fetishist, Glen Callender, who was barred from a Canadian Pride event due to flashing onlookers. This reigns true throughout the entire essay, from start to finish. Being excessively vocal as a consequence of not having anything to be proud of is not something to be proud of. A Napoleon Complex would suggest the opposite - a need to go after circumcised men because they have something to be proud of and you don't. but more to the fact that I, unlike the vast majority of American males, have not been genitally mutilated. I have a foreskin. I am intact. Were you expecting an award when you washed ashore like a moldy piece of driftwood? Congratulations, you have smegma buildup. In America, we don't really envy your baggage. Circumcision isn't mutilation and circumcised males are intact, by definition - that is, free from injury: free from experiencing the grizzly, horrific, mutilating penile problems and subsequent psychological issues uncircumcised men clearly fall victim to. Hopefully your cultural shock can begin to permit you to understand that it was not just your erroneous writing that got your hideous proposal rejected from the New York Times, but your oppressive condescension you drizzle over every word. Maybe being a pompous prick incapable of even opening an essay without alienating your audience isn't the best way to connect with a new audience. The gasping was due to the fact that most people had never seen a real, unadulterated, uncircumcised penis before, and some of the people who were seeing mine had, to be frank, been round the block a few times so their reaction was all the more surprising and, on reflection, upsetting. You find it "upsetting" when someone doesn't marvel in awe of you, but find no issue at all in saying that circumcised men don't have "real" penises. Yes, that's very balanced and fair. This is a perfect summary of this 'essay' of yours. Scratch that, it's the perfect summary of your 'activism' overall: self-indulgent, masturbatory dribble that demonstrates zero interest in connecting with the audience or considering the feelings of the other person. Circumcised men have real penises, and, in fact, penises that are naturally preferred by many for real reasons, which is exactly why you feel the need to systematically shut down all of them... What's "fake" is how obscenely you have to skew this discussion against circumcised men in order to have a leg to stand on. What's "fake" is this echo chamber you have to cultivate to contend with the fact that circumcised men have real reasons to be proud. What's "fake" is foreskin pride. For not only did they have no idea of what a foreskin looked like,they also had no idea how to deal with it when we got down to business. I had to give quite a few seminars on how it worked. Oh, the horror. Not every human being in the world has seen your penis. Shall I go to Scotland and throw a tantrum at those who aren't accustomed to my clean genitals? Or does the insurmountable ego of the Scotsman simply transcend the double-standard - as well as hygiene? Can you imagine being in your thirties and suddenly having to explain to lovers how your genitals functioned, or having them gush that they’d never seen one like yours before, or, worse, recoil in disdain and say ‘what do you even do with that?’ Could you imagine being in your fifties and not understanding that the world doesn't revolve around you? That there are billions of different people in the world from different cultures and different walks of life with different experiences and preferences? Could you imagine being in your fifties and being so emotionally, socially and mentally underdeveloped that tinstead of making peace with the fact that different strokes work for different folks, you protest those differences? On the contrary, once again, it is you who has no idea how the male genitalia works. You are the one living in a fantasy world where circumcised men are apparently precluded from amazing sex just because they have cleaner genitals than you and are less likely to fall victim to issues that completely destroy the male reproductive system. "Hi, I'm Alan Cumming. Behold my penis which is more likely to transmit HIV, give you cervical cancer, and then rot and fall off. This obviously suggests I am a superior sexual specimen, and if you aren't interested, you are surely deluded." It made me feel that I was the weird one, You are. In fact, you're so weird that you make a concerted effort at making completely normal, healthy men feel weird instead. I was deformed, I was not normal, A moment of clarity? when of course it was they who had had a piece of the most sensitive part of their bodies removed. I was the intact one. I was complete, I told myself. They were the ones who were lacking, literally, and who needed to be counseled and awakened to these facts. Circumcised men are the intact ones. Circumcised men are the complete ones. They are not lacking. They are the ones who avoid horrific penile deformities and disabilities that result from being uncircumcised, disabilities that inhibit a man from having a reproductive system and apparently from proper emotional and mental development. It is for this reason - that they are not victims, and that they are better off than you - that you intend to stigmatize their bodies and their minds by prescribing fallacious advice with your nonprofits. Circumcised men do not need to be "counseled" and "awakened" to the fake facts, pseudoscience and poison you wish to prescribe them to cope with your inadequacies. Contrary to what your unbelievable sense of entitlement and misplaced God complex may tell you, they are at no obligation to sit and listen to your rancid ramblings about your sorry penis. They are at no obligation to ingest your lies, just like Americans, or other people in the world for that matter, were at no obligation to enjoy your penis, and your decision to invest inordinate amounts of money into anti-circumcision organizations in an attempt to force your agenda down their throats is nothing more than an admission that you need to be counseled, that you are in severe need of help, and that you are inferior to them - not the other way around. You are the one who has to grift, scam, lie and cheat to sabotage your peers because you feel that you cannot naturally compete with them - a reality that burst your bubble the moment you left your cultural echo chamber. We have a foreskin for a reason. Uncircumcised men get penile cancer for a reason. Uncircumcised men are a unique factor in HIV transmission and the cervical cancer of women for a reason. We have circumcision for a reason, and we naturally prefer cleaner, healthier, safer circumcised men for a reason. Male babies are being born without foreskin at an increasing rate for a reason. Any more empty arguments? I know vestigial and useless is sort of your thing. Mine protects the most sensitive part of my body. Actually, it doesn't. Rather, it endangers your penis - which is why uncircumcised men, virtually exclusively, face cancer of the penis. 'Not rocket science, Cumming. The word "mine" doesn't protect your pseudoscience, either. Whether you're talking about your own body or the bodies of other men, your claims about the function and sensitivity of the foreskin objectively make no sense and are not documented in science. You shield yourself from actual logic and science behind the excuse that you're just talking about your own body. Meanwhile, you shut down all other testimony from men who disagree with you. Of course when I say this in the now many conversations I have had on this topic, *Conversations you have invariably provoked, because you're obsessed and are suffering from a mental disorder. there is always some guy who scoffs and says he couldn’t possibly be any more sensitive down there, if he were it might be some sort of problem. To him, and to you now, dear reader, I offer this little parable: That "some guy" is the person whose personal experiences you are trying to undermine and shut down with your own personal, subjective experiences. That "some guy" is the person you are imposing yourself on. That "some guy" is probably the innocent circumcised man, among many you molest, who wasn't interested in your completely unsolicited, asinine opinion on his body. That "some guy" is the audience which you commissioned deceitful, slimy organizations to dump toxic waste on. That "some guy" is the millions of circumcised men in Pride events who are made to feel uncomfortable due to the unnecessary presence of anti-circumcision messaging, the onlookers who frown in confusion when your absolutely forced, fake, passive-aggressive abominations pass by. It's only natural you would regard the targets of your projection as insignificant, even though it is THEIR BODIES you are speaking on, because beyond being your punching bag, they serve no purpose to you. You don't value the humans on the other side at all. None of you do. It's not something your drizzled on virtue signaling could possibly disguise. You are just single-minded parasites who only exist to leech off of other people. Say I am having a shower I already know this is fiction. and as I am toweling myself off my foreskin gets pulled back, revealing the head of my penis. When I begin to dress, if the head is still out and it touches the fabric of my underwear, it is so uncomfortable and sensitive that I have to pull my foreskin back down immediately before I can finish dressing. That’s how sensitive it is. And that’s also how much sensitivity you lose when you are circumcised. Notwithstanding the fact that there is an overwhelming wealth of adult content on the internet that contradicts your (probably fabricated) testimony, like countless videos of uncircumcised men who seem to be completely indifferent to touch, who "jackhammer", who rely on artificial lubrication, who exclusively 'bottom' in gay sex, and who exhibit nothing you claim, your personal anecdotes don't supersede the science. According to studies as well as input from men who were circumcised as adults - men who have a point of reference that you lack, Cumming - circumcised men just aren't missing out on anything, for a wide variety of reasons that are so far beyond you it doesn't even pay to get into it. Explaining sexual perception to you, a man who is so stupid he believes he can speak for the perception of others, would be like explaining calculus to a rock. Maybe you're missing something, Cumming. After all, you're the one who seems to be stuck on the basics. Perhaps if you were as satisfied as circumcised men, you wouldn't be so desperate to speak over them. That's just it - it upsets you when circumcised men talk about their experiences, because you're self-conscious that their experiences are better than yours. Of course no man wants to hear that he is missing out on sexual pleasure by something that happened when he was a few days old and is therefore irreversible as well as impossible for him to even conceive of the difference. That’s why I think a lot of men who are circumcised are initially defensive and protective of the procedure, and see any opposition to it by people like me as hysterical and cranky. I get it. Maybe I would be like that too if I wasn’t intact, and if I spent most of my life never encountering anyone who was. No, you don't get it. You couldn't if you tried. You are completely and utterly disconnected from the feelings of other people and, as we've established, have no interest in listening to anyone but yourself anyway. You speak solely to hear yourself speak. Any reasonable person can see the difference. You feign sympathy only to serve the sadistic purpose of creating a diminishing narrative that circumcised men are victims because it services your ego - ew. You treat circumcised men like victims only because you recognize they aren't and you want them to be. It is the opposite of sympathy. You resent confident circumcised men because you believe they are to blame for your rejection. You resent confident circumcised men because they certify everything that is wrong with you, because their honest, passive testimony exposes your victimhood. You push fake sympathy on circumcised men because it is you in your experiences who has felt pitied while they were celebrated, and you seek to reverse the roles. It's not that circumcised men are resistant because they're misguided victims in denial; it's that they rightfully reject your unsolicited, unfounded, unscientific lies and your predatory imposition, the same way a healthy person rejects a rapist. They are correct to perceive you as hysterical, unhinged and psychotic, because you are. You cross too many lines to even count. Circumcised men aren't missing out on sexual pleasure. Circumcised men weren't wronged. Circumcised men aren't victims. Circumcised men who shut your imposition down are exhibiting a normal, healthy reaction to the ramblings of a hostile, unhealthy man...a misguided, rabid victim who wants to drag happier men down with him. But this defensiveness can turn rather aggressive when a discussion, um, extends into anything more than a passing comment and I am always amazed by people’s reasoning for why this really distressing thing was done to them and in turn why they intend to continue the tradition on their own male offspring. The targets of your obsessive projection are not the ones who are aggressive. What you define as "aggressive", once again, is simply when people reject your attacks on them. It is the definition of gas lighting. Circumcision isn't distressing; your harassment and misinformation is distressing. Circumcised men aren't trying to justify anything, because they aren't in a position where they need to justify anything. They don't need to give you an explanation as to their own pediatric or cultural choices, and you, once again, are emulating predators when you make these ridiculous demands. The only one who is overly aggressive in this dynamic is you, a textbook example of the Napoleon Complex; a man made extraordinarily aggressive by his lackof "girth", lack of scale, and lack of everything it means to be a man. We are all so rightly horrified by the genital mutilation of girls in some parts of the world. I say, why don’t we have the same abhorrence about it happening to little boys here? Because no such abhorrence exists. Circumcision isn't mutilation or an abhorrence, but it would be silly for us to expect a man who can't even comprehend the concept of personal space to comprehend a false equivalence. You know what's an abhorrence? The fact that uncircumcised men believe they should be rewarded for facilitating HIV transmission and the cervical cancer of women. The fact that uncircumcised men think they have any business trying to make those who actually benefit society feel self-conscious. Your burden is an abhorrence. You. And this is why you try so hard to alienate circumcised men. You are self-conscious of your burden. Hope that answers your question. The phrase ‘Religious reasons’ will be quoted though most are vague on what these actually are when pressed. Occasionally the ‘covenant with God’ angle will rear its head, though when I say that we have stopped most of the other barbaric practices described in the Bible and other religious tomes, so why are we so keen to continue this one, nobody really wants to listen. The only one rearing his ugly head, literally, is you. No one asked for your sudden input on their 3500 years of culture - but if you truly insist, allow us to finally reciprocate. If anything, you, a gay uncircumcised man, should be taking a page or two from the book of those who lead in the forefront of AIDs research, from those who, despite your constant disrespect, continue to clean up after your every fecal failure like zookeepers. Don't project your barbaric, degenerate hivemind of hookups and self-obsession on those who have spent thousands of years cultivating a productive culture of mostly peace, love, inclusion, thoughtfulness, discipline, and technological innovation. You, the freaks who chose to alienate the single most consistently persecuted race in all of human history in your so-called "Pride" events, wouldn't know "progressive" if it slapped you across the face in a bathroom stall. While Jews and Israelis create a pill because you're too stupid to figure out how to use a condom, you prance around with a swastika painted on your moldy ass cheek in your mediocre plays. It has taken, truly, so much continued abuse for us to reach the point where we would say this - but, kindly, know your place, you smug, insignificant, shit-faced little swine, and cease nipping at the hand that has so mercifully fed you. The rope is scarce. Read the room. Then, prospective fathers who are defending future circumcision on their boys will say things like ‘He’ll be teased in the locker rooms.’ Why? For having all his body parts intact? Or, my personal favorite: ‘I want him to look like me!’ Is this a part of American culture I have not been enlightened about yet? Do you all go home at Thanksgiving and get your wangs out in front of your fathers and compare notes? I mean, really. Yes - we know the subject of little boys and their genitals is your favorite, Cumming. Loud and clear. That's the ultimate irony here. Here you are, a gay man in his fifties, a man who never even fathered children, sitting in judgement of families and their private pediatric or cultural choices. Here you are, a vapid socialite, a man who centered his entire life on screaming for attention in every fathomable way, a man who has contributed absolutely nothing to this world outside of his ego echo chamber, sitting in judgement of those who brought life into the world - a world that you so clearly would prefer to revolve around a washed out, miserable, grifting old man. Here you are obsessing over whether their child's genitals match yours. Here you are blatantly disregarding the hundreds of clinical studies that document that it is not just a cosmetic or cultural choice, that it doesyield legitimate health benefits, just to create an opening for you to, literally, insert your genitals and dictate whether their son is circumcised. It's not that circumcised fathers wanting to match their sons bothers you; it's that their sons not matching you bothers you. Circumcised fathers and the millions upon millions of parents who are rightfilly continue to choose circumcision regardless of your pedophillic tantrums owe you no explanation, but in an ideal world, you would owe the entire public an explanation and an apology for your nauseating behavior - unless, I suppose, this a part of European culture that I have not been enlightened about yet. Is it normal in your culture for men to be selfish, slimy creeps who compensate for how disgusting they are by literally forcing themselves on everyone else? Is it still normal in your culture for your men to compensate for how subpar they are by resorting to sabotage and attempts at exterminating the competition altogether? Is pedophilia as common as incest across the pond? :) Intact America and 15 Square are two organizations I am affiliated with and who are doing sterling work in educating and advising on this matter, and who, like me, really want above all to make parents question if they really want their infant son to be subjected to such a traumatic, irreversible and potentially dangerous medical procedure. Let’s get the conversation started, I say. Yes, we are aware that you fancy their work sterling. After all, you specifically commissioned them to spread stigmatizing misinformation on your behalf; to take all the insecurity, all the trauma, all psychological damage in your profile and project it onto circumcised men; to exact your petty, childish vengeance. We are aware that you are satisfied with your work. We are aware you find solace in the thousands upon thousands of young boys, straight, gay and everything in between, you have successfully misled. We are aware that you take pride in the fact that Pride events, a sacred place meant for oppressed people to seek refuge and celebrate themselves, have been raped and desecrated by "foreskin pride" propaganda peddled by the organizations you funded. We are aware that, even as you read this message, you are probably smiling - because you are too stupid to understand that your ability to find success in having misled other people serves only to show weak you are. We are aware that you, a true predator, revel in the harm you have inflicted on your victims. We know. I realise I have been trying to do that for years, ever since that first gasp as I dropped my drawers. Once, when I was working on Broadway in Cabaret the girl who did my make-up confessed she had never seen an uncircumcised penis. I thought this was shocking and decided tonight was the night. *Ever since you realized that there are many people in this world who rightfully and naturally prefer cleaner, healthier, safer, happier circumcised men and set out to smear them in bad faith. She was understandably a little freaked out, but we had known each other for over a year and she painted a swastika on my right butt cheek nearly every night of that year so we were pretty close. And as I said, I was doing her a favour. Knowledge is power and all that. Fitting. She stepped out into the hall. I pulled down my dance belt and presented the Cumming manhood. We had agreed I would call her in, she would take a quick look then go back out of the room again so I could rearrange myself, then call her back in and she’d get back to work. I shouted I was ready and the door opened slowly and I saw her little face full of trepidation. But only for a second! You sound like you are describing your interaction with a child. In a way, you are. As we established earlier, you view everyone who you can believe can be used, through the same lens. You do not value the other side, just like people who commit unspeakable crimes against humanity. 'Oh, I see,’ she exclaimed, bounding towards me, all nerves gone, now caught up in a physiological field trip. ‘It’s not at all how I thought it would be!’ ‘What did you think it would be like?’’ I asked, feeling slightly objectified but also in the same moment acknowledging I had totally invited it. ‘Well,’ she said, her eyes still fixed on my pudendum. ‘I thought it would be more like a flip-top bin!’ ‘What, like you’d stand on my foot and my foreskin would pull back?’ I guffawed. ‘Something like that!’ she shrieked, and soon the two of us were bent double with the silliness of it all. At that moment, a vision was hatched. I chose to accept a mission to lift the lid as it were, to try to educate and enlighten what a penis is supposed to look like, without having to actually get mine out every time to do so! Yes, now that you've spent some 500 words jacking yourself off, shitting all over circumcised men ad nauseum and you've got that dopamine going, superimpose a wholesome, feel-good, ha-ha story about you, your friend, and your prized tumor that you could not go thirty seconds without mentioning. That'll make you seem like such a good person. Rejoice in the fact that you've completely degraded circumcised men for twenty minutes straight. That's the comic relief we need. What an inclusive celebration, just like the uncircumcised men at Pride march cheering on top of floats that assault audiences with vile propaganda about circumcised men. How gracious you are to your audience, as always. Boy, you sure are good with your cues. I can only imagine how good your seething sociopathy makes you with partners. Everyone knows the mindset of a rapist is most romantic. Cumming, you have the emotional and social intelligence of an amoeba. We reserve the right to shame you just as you have viciously and relentlessly shamed circumcised men in all of your testimony and the vectors you paid off to execute your vengeful, rotted will, and we know how keen your lobby is on gas lighting its opponents. I'm going to be crystal clear in this statement. It's not just your repulsive junk that turns people away. It's your character. It's the fact that not once in your oppressively condescending, sanctimonious, self-indulgent, utterly masturbatory shitfest of monologue did you truly consider the feelings or the welfare of the other person or intend to evoke real conversation. Not once. You believing your extremism reflects a good faith effort is as delusional and ludicrous as your belief that your writing was New York Times tier. Nothing you do is worthwhile and nothing you are is worthwile, and that's exactly why you spend so much time, like so many self-hating uncircumcised men, spinning absurd tales with which you take the shine away from other people. Your mission to stigmatize circumcised men to the public reflects only everything you have to resort to in order to compete with them. You are a sad, sore loser who has grifted, scammed and begged for success in every sector, and this would not exclude the penis sector, where you are left with no choice but to sabotage your competition because you didn't possess the character to make peace with the reality that people are allowed to naturally prefer them over you. They are allowed to win. You want plays on words, you slimy little shit? You possess neither the penis nor the discipline of a champion. You are a worm, a wriggling little parasite who had to poison your opponents because they are superior to you in every way. Of course circumcised men are a cut above you. You knew the truth when it confronted you decades ago. It was then, in the style of a Cumming Coward, that you decided to take them out.